


songbook

by tigriswolf



Series: comment_fic drabbles [269]
Category: One Direction (Band), Real Person Fiction
Genre: Canon Compliant, First Time, Fluff, Gen, M/M, The X Factor Era, fetus boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-04-23 12:18:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4876519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigriswolf/pseuds/tigriswolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of canon compliant drabbles; mostly fluff and schmoop.  Possibly some angst. Tags will be updated as I post.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. born to shine

**Author's Note:**

> Title: born to shine  
> Disclaimer: they’re real people so they belong to themselves; title from Smash Cast  
> Warnings: takes place in both 2010 and 2015  
> Rating: PG  
> Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson  
> Wordcount: 500  
> Point of view: third  
> Prompt: any, any +/ any
> 
>  _There are some in this world who have strength on their own_  
>  _Never broken or in need of repair_  
>  _But there are some born to shine who can't do it alone_  
>  _So protect them and take special care_  
>  _Take care_  
>  (Don't Forget Me by Smash Cast)

That first time on the stage with White Eskimo, he'd thought, _Yes, I want to do this forever_. It was fun but just a lark, for them. Harry wasn't foolish; he planned for other things, just in case. But he had a summer before college, so why not try? Newly sixteen, old enough to audition, and he’s standing on another stage, in front of people who've only ever been on his telly before. 

He sings, thinking, _Yes, this is what I want_. 

At bootcamp, he gives everything a thousand percent, exhilarated and terrified in equal measure; he can't follow the choreography to save his life, but he has fun with it, and he just can't stop smiling because this is it, this is his chance - he just wants to sing forever, to write and perform songs that mean something. There's even a brilliant boy in the toilet who asks for his autograph and a picture because "You're gonna win it all, you'll see," and Harry can't stop grinning for hours.

And then he's cut. The very last moment, his name isn't called. He nearly collapses on the stage but manages to stumble away bumping into that Irish boy who always had a crowd around him, and he just follows him because he doesn't know what else to do. Should probably call Mum but if he hears her voice, he's going to break down. 

But one of the assistants asks for them to come back, and reads off a list of names, and Harry's shock and grief begins to turn to anger. Do they just want more footage of boys crying? Want to twist the knife a little more? 

That boy from the toilet ( _Louis_ ) catches his eye, nodding for him to go first, so Harry trudges back to the stage. 

. 

From that first song for an audience, Harry just wanted to sing. When his bandmates didn't want to go any further, Harry went to audition alone. 

To be perfectly honest, he's not sure how he would've done it on his own, what would've happened if Nicole or Simon (he's still not sure who actually came up with the idea) hadn't suggested taking the five of them and putting them into a group together. 

It's utterly mad, and despite the rocky start (and it was so rocky, what with Liam having planned on being a solo artist and Louis always trying to have a laugh), when he looks back on little sixteen-year-old him, standing on that stage alone - 

"I have loved you," Louis sings, glancing his way in front of a crowd of 60,000 screaming people, "since we were eighteen." 

Liam's clapping, Niall's dancing in place, and Zayn is gone (which still hurts, might always hurt), and Harry can't imagine having this life on his own. He counts off the beats in his head and then sings with Louis, "Long before we both thought the same thing, to love and be in love," and he can't look away.


	2. someone supportive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: someone supportive   
> Disclaimer: they belong to themselves and each other  
> Warnings: takes place during X-Factor  
> Pairings: Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles  
> Rating: PG  
> Wordcount: 205  
> Point of view: third   
> Prompt: Author’s choice, M/M pair, cuddling

The bed is too small for both of them but it's the night before their first Live Show and Harry can't stop shaking. Louis is nervous, too, he is, but he's never once truly believed he'd win. Harry just wants this _so much_ and he's convinced himself he'll ruin it for all of them. 

Niall, Zayn, and Liam are all in their beds, either asleep or pretending to be, and Louis bullied Harry into the bottom bunk and wrapped around him, as close as he could. It isn’t at all comfortable but that’s not what’s important here. As the minutes pass, Harry’s breathing slows. He stops trembling. He clutches Louis’ hands to his chest, pressing back against him. 

“You’re amazin’,” Louis murmurs into his shoulder. “Told you when we first met, didn’t I? You’re goin’ all the way.” 

“So are you,” Harry whispers back, bringing Louis’ hand to his lips for a quick kiss. 

Louis tries to bury his smile against Harry’s skin but Harry giggles, mumbling, “’s’tickles.” 

“Go to sleep,” Louis says. “We’re gonna smash it tomorrow, all’a us. Promise.” 

Harry drifts off first; Louis holds him, wishing with everything in him that they at least make it to the second show.


	3. welcome home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: welcome home   
> Disclaimer: they belong to themselves (or each other)  
> Warnings: takes place in 2010, during the Live Shows  
> Pairings: Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles  
> Rating: PG  
> Wordcount: 285  
> Point of view: third   
> Prompt: Any, Any/Any Male, 
> 
> _I want to buy you flowers_   
>  _It's such a shame you're a boy_   
>  _But when you are not a girl_   
>  _Nobody buys you flowers_
> 
> _I want to buy you flowers_   
>  _And now I'm standing in the shop_   
>  _I must confess I wonder_   
>  _If you will like my flowers_

He's dreamed of having someone to greet in the morning with kisses and cuddles, someone to share tea and breakfast with, someone to serenade whenever either of them likes, someone to walk dogs and straighten the house with (though, honestly, he knows he won't be much good at that), someone to _choose_ a house with, to decorate and cherish their home—he's dreamed of finding his home in someone, of being that someone's home. 

He helped Mum and Dad with his sisters, watched out for the younger kids at school, and then at bootcamp for a television show he still marvels that he auditioned for, and all the while, he dated Hannah. They went to parties, to films, on walks. He gave her sweets and flowers, and she cheered him on during rehearsal for both the play and the band, and yet... 

None of his dreams of the future included her. 

And then he met Harry Styles. 

All his life, Louis has dreamed of what his future holds. He's named his children, plotted out how he wanted everything to go. 

It's utterly mad, innit, to realize he's found his home at 18 years old? But he has, he's sure of it. 

And his home is blushing, chewing on his lower lip, slowly bringing his hand from behind his back, holding a single flower. "For you," Harry says, so brilliant and so nervous. 

Louis has spent most of his life imagining all the ways he'd romance his _wife_ —it's delightful to realize he'll be competing against his _husband_ to be the more romantic. 

But for now, he carefully takes the stem, doing his best not to blush, and pulls Harry in for a kiss.


	4. I know your look when I get there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: I know your look when I get there   
> Disclaimer: they belong to themselves (or each other); title from Dido   
> Warnings: takes place in early 2011 but after February 1  
> Pairings: Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles  
> Rating: PG  
> Wordcount: 233  
> Point of view: third  
> Prompt: any, any/any, standing there with just a tan and a slow, shy smile

He's nervous, of course, but sure, so sure, and he knows he has maybe three minutes before Louis' back with the take-away, and they've been talking about this for _months_ , but Lou doesn't know he's chosen tonight—

He pauses in the act of lighting one of the candles because he's just noticed how much his hand is shaking. He blows out the match and sinks down onto the bed, breathing _1 2 3, 1 2 3_. 

There's no need to worry. Louis'll laugh at him, of course, for the candles spread across his bedroom, the one they share even though Louis has one just across the hall. Louis'll laugh and then he'll smile, crowd in close and murmur against Harry's lips, "You been plannin' this, then?" 

He bounces off the bed, leaving the rest of the candles unlit. He's planned this so many different ways, fantasized a dozen different things. What to do now? 

"Harold!" Louis shouts. "Food!" 

"Back here, Lou!" Harry calls, glancing around the room again. 

"You won't believe," Louis is saying as he steps through the door, and Harry glances up in time to see the smile slowly spread across his face. 

"Tonight then, love?" he asks, and Harry _feels_ the way Louis' eyes move along his body. "Aren't you bit overdressed?" 

Harry takes one more breath, holds it, and as he breathes out, begins pulling off his clothes.


	5. freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: freedom  
> Disclaimer: they’re real people who belong to themselves  
> Warning: none  
> Pairing: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson  
> Rating: PG  
> Wordcount: 145  
> Point of view: third  
> Prompt: Any, any, to thine self be true.

"I wanna grow my hair out," Harry says one day, after another interview where he got asked about girls. "D'ya think they'll tell me I can't?" 

"How long?" Louis asks, leaning back against the sofa as Harry leans over it, so that he can see Harry's face. 

"I don't know yet," Harry says. "But long." He's nibbling on his lip. "What if someone says it's stupid?" 

Louis reaches out to tangle his fingers in the curls that have called to him as long as he's known Harry, since before they actually met. It's what he first noticed, after all, stomach all fluttery with nerves while stood in line. 

"The only person whose opinion matters is yours, Harold," he says. "But I'll grow my hair out, too, how about?" 

Harry nods, exhaling sharply, and then lets himself flop over the sofa, nearly elbowing Louis in the face.


	6. there’s nothin’ I’m runnin’ from

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: there’s nothin’ I’m runnin’ from  
> Disclaimer: they belong to themselves, being real and all; title from “Strong”  
> Warnings: none  
> Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson  
> Rating: PG  
> Wordcount: 320  
> Point of view: third  
> Prompt: any. any. Making time for the important things.

They've been to more places than Louis had ever dreamed he'd see in person and he keeps a list of them. Sometimes, they'd only been to the hotel and the arena or stadium, hadn't been able to do any sightseeing or touristy things, and he notes down the ones Harry had seemed sad about. 

They're so busy now, time blocked off for what being a boybander requires, but it won't always be like this. They'll come back, he and Harry (and the boys, if they want, but in a different room), they'll visit everywhere again, and waste time taking pictures that won't come out, kiss anywhere they want no matter who's watching, and they won't worry about what it might do to the One Direction brand. 

They'll just be Louis and Harry, as in love as the day they met, and finally able to show it. 

He has another list, too, of all the places he'll propose, when they're free to be themselves. It's not quite as long as the first, and carefully coded in case Harry gets curious. 

"Still workin' on that?" Zayn asks, dropping into the seat across from him. Liam, Niall, and Harry are on the other bus, probably watching a ridiculous movie. "Gonna work up the nerve soon?" 

Louis laughs softly. "It's not about nerves, is it?" It's never been nerves. He would've proposed in the X-Factor house, if Harry hadn't been so young. He'd propose in every city they've been in, if it wouldn't cost the other boys so much. 

"Just two more years," he tells Zayn. 

Just two more years. 

"I'm going to get another [tattoo](https://uk.celebrity.yahoo.com/post/122148486084/one-directions-louis-tomlinson-gets-dagger-tattoo)," he adds, grinning just a little at how everyone will react. No, he can't propose yet but they'll come back and until he can kiss Harry when and wherever they want, inking it into his skin for the world to see will be good enough.


	7. I want to write you a song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: I want to write you a song  
> Disclaimer: they’re real people so they belong to themselves, and so does the title  
> Warnings: set during April 2015  
> Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson  
> Rating: PG  
> Wordcount: 115  
> Point of view: third  
> Prompt: any, any, Acutely longing for one's family or home

"How much longer?" Louis mumbles into the phone. "'s'lonely wit'out you 'ere." 

"Just a few more days," Harry says slowly, sounding as tired as Louis feels. It should only be dinnertime there, yeah? "I've written you a song, Lou." 

Louis giggles, "I wrote you one, too. What's yours called?"

Harry sighs. "If I Could Fly," he whispers. 

"Oh, babe." Louis just wants to wrap around him, bury his face in Harry's curls. 

"What about yours, Lou?" Harry asks. 

"Home," Louis says. Harry sniffles. "C'mon, love, 's'just a few more days, innit? Said it yourself." 

"Yeah," Harry murmurs. "Go to sleep, love." He hums something that has to be the new song. "Just a few more days."


	8. so in love it hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: so in love it hurts   
> Disclaimer: they all belong to themselves, being real live people and all  
> Warnings: set in 2015  
> Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson  
> Rating: PG  
> Wordcount: 175  
> Point of view: third  
> Prompt: any, any, puppy love

"Surely we can't have been _that_ bad," Louis grumbles as Niall shoves him down onto the sofa. 

"You were," Liam says, dragging Harry into the room and shoving him beside Louis. "It was sickening." 

"We don't believe you," Harry says primly, crossing his arms.

Niall scoffs. "After you watch our evidence, you'll wanna tear your own eyes out. If I didn't love the pair'a so much, would I 've been cheerin' you on for five years?" 

Louis shares an eyeroll with Harry. "Show us this 'evidence,' then," he orders, using the finger quotes with all the disgust he can muster. 

"Here’re our [video diaries from the X-Factor](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9B4nbsTdMGg), lads," Liam says as he sits beside Harry and Niall flops down next to Louis. "A full 35 minutes of the two'a you bein' so ridiculously in love it's painful." 

"It surely wasn't that bad," Harry murmurs, resting his head on Louis' shoulder. "... oh," he says, 10 seconds in, because the Louis on the screen is petting Harry's curls. 

"Yeah," Liam and Niall sigh in unison.


	9. ever new

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: ever new  
> Disclaimer: they belong to themselves and each other  
> Warnings: takes place anytime after OTRA ends  
> Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson  
> Rating: PG  
> Wordcount: 180  
> Point of view: third  
> Prompt: Original; any M/M pair; http://www.lovethispic.com/image/178049/stay-still-and-let-me-kiss-you

It doesn't matter how far they've come; whenever Louis looks at Harry, he can still see that boy ducking his head in the toilet, blushing because Louis told him there was no way he wouldn't win. It still makes Louis' breath catch, the fact that Harry is still his, despite—well, everything. The eyes always watching, the pressure, the lies. 

And soon, so soon, at least the lying will come to an end. Five years later, waiting and wanting, and the end is in sight. 

"What are you grinnin' at?" Harry asks, peering through the kitchen door. "Breakfast's done, Lou." His smile widens into a somewhat evil grin, like he can even make those. "I bet you a kiss that you can't - "

He breaks off with a gasp as Louis pounces. "Lou!" he protests with a laugh, standing up on his tiptoes. "The food'll get cold." 

"Get back down here, you giant," Louis says, reaching up to grab his cheeks. "No brekkie till after kisses." 

"You're always so demanding," Harry murmurs, but he ducks down with a smile.


	10. someone worth fighting for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: someone worth fighting for   
> Disclaimer: they’re real people who belong to themselves  
> Warnings: references to forceful closeting   
> Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson  
> Rating: PG  
> Wordcount: 245  
> Point of view: third   
> Prompt: any - any - the fire within

In the beginning, it's easy to watch wide-eyed as Simon guides them through the process, as the writers and producers and choreographers and stylists order them about, as they're _managed_ by those who are older and wiser and only want what's best for their career. 

_Career_ , mind. 

In the beginning, Louis listens and watches and remembers, and picks his battles very wisely. 

In the beginning, no one tells him that the greatest threat to their _career_ is his excited exploration of Harry's body, is laughing kisses and fingers tangling in Harry's curls, is the lyrics that he can't stop writing and singing into Harry's skin, is a love so overwhelmingly vast that it's almost frightening. 

_Almost_ , mind. 

In the beginning, Louis is just another boybander with an expiration date and a team that will extract as much blood as possible. 

In the beginning, when everything is new and bright, Louis can't imagine how far things will go. Can't imagine the demands and expectations, the rage and grief. Can't imagine how strong he'll have to be, how determined, how stubborn. 

In the beginning, Louis will have no idea that he'll be told to sever all public ties to his other half, or that he'll look at the group of people with only the best for his career in mind and think _i'll give you a war_. 

In the beginning, Louis chooses his battles very carefully, and wages them quietly or loudly, depending. That never changes.


End file.
